Its been a while since I blogged... sorry folks. I've been quite busy devising a way to kill Eeles!

You read correctly. I'm going about it in such a way that I could never be convicted of the "crime", even if I post my intentions on this blog.

I intend to kill him by loading him with rich food. The fool accepted my offer of preparing his dinner without suspicion, the meal...

Peckmore's Death Balls

12 eggs

half a cup of mayonnaise

bread crumbs

lots of salt

a sprig of dill (couldn't help myself)

water for boiling

oil for deep frying

Boil eleven of the twelve eggs until hard boiled. Remove the white from the eggs taking care not to break the hard yoke. Blend the whites in a food processor with the dill and mayonnaise until smooth. Whisk the remaining egg. Carefully roll the yokes in the whished egg, then the bread crumbs. Deep fry crumbed yokes a few at a time until golden brown. Place the fried yokes on a plate and smother with mayonnaise mixture. Salt heavily.

Serves - 1 fool.

25th April 2009

I Discovered that Eeles is sponsoring a poor African child. This impressed me deeply until I happened upon a letter he was composing to this child.

It began - "Dear Ngozi, You think you've got problems! My kinesiologist said..." etc.

19th December 2008

This morning, after a strong cup of tea, Eeles insisted that everything got bigger when we changed to the metric system. I had trouble disproving his claim due to it being so absurd. He suggested we “make it more interesting” and bet fifty dollars on the matter, what could I do but accept.

Eventually I proved to his satisfaction that he was wrong, he then claimed to have no money on him and said he couldn’t get money from the cash machine because he had suddenly come down with Parkinson’s disease… meaning he couldn’t accurately hit the buttons. He suggested we go double or nothing on the claim that Pythagoras invented the triangle.

Idiot!

25th November 2008